Reprinted (with some editing, for a "G" rating) from "The Onion" newspaper:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — At approximately 2 a.m. Thursday morning, White House sources confirmed that Vice President Joe Biden was forcibly pushed out the rear door of a moving 1980 Lincoln Town Car onto the curb outside 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
"Whoa, those hombres were not messing around," said Biden, assuring a small group of onlookers that he was fine as he climbed to his feet and dusted himself off.
"This ain't no joke, but no need to worry about me. Not the first time I've had my butt in a sling! And if there's anything Diamond Joe knows, it's how to rake in some quick green.", noted our nation's Vice-President.
At press time, witnesses confirmed seeing Biden walking out of the Oval Office with Rembrandt Peale's 1823 portrait of George Washington tucked into his jacket.
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